In Frankly Friday

You have a lifetime of experiences – things that have happened to you and things that you have made happen. Some happened by accident, some on purpose.

Regardless, your brain formed a series of beliefs about what will happen the next time you are in a similar situation.

Without ever trying, you’ve formed tens of thousands of beliefs.

Your beliefs dictate how you think, how you feel, what actions you take, and eventually, your results in every area of life. 

In other words; what you believe, you do, and what you do, you become. 

This is known by neuroscientists as a cybernetic loop.

For the most part, these beliefs keep you from harm. They’ve taught you what happens when you touch a hot stove, eat too much sugar, or talk back to your mom.

It’s your brain’s job to make these beliefs to help you survive. 

But many of those beliefs are also keeping you from thriving. 

For example:

  • If your parents struggled with money, you may believe that you’ll never be financially abundant.

  • If you were picked last in gym class, you may believe that you’ll never be good at physical activity.

  • If you were once hurt in a relationship, you may believe that you can’t trust anyone again. 

The cybernetic loop is incredibly powerful, and those that don’t understand it are at great risk of never reaching their fullest potential. 

This is because your brain is constantly looking for evidence to support what it already believes is right… and it will act accordingly to the evidence it finds (aka confirmation bias):

  • “Of course I’m broke, rich people already have all the money,” leads to never pursuing the opportunity, assuming nothing will work, lack of discipline because, “what’s the point?”

  • “Of course I’m fat, I don’t have the genetics of a healthy person,” leads to never working out, negative self-image, never finding the joy of increased heart rate or playing backyard sports.

  • “Of course they didn’t invite me, nobody does,” leads to reluctantly making future plans, lack of enthusiasm to start conversations, and social anxiety.

The loop of evidence we look for to make us feel “right,” leads to a lifetime of self-fulfilling prophecies; it’s a never-ending loop.

But you know what’s crazy?

You can completely disrupt the loop, anytime you want, and reprogram it to bring you good things.

All that you need to do is:

  1. Recognize when it’s happening
  2. Decide to look for evidence that serves the result you would prefer

For example:

  • My parents weren’t good with money, but that taught me the situation I don’t want to be in. I know math, I have marketable skills, and I have access to people who can teach me how to build wealth.

  • I wasn’t fast in dodgeball, but my body is really good at lifting weights, I love to walk outside, and I’m good at planning – I’d make a great backyard quarterback.

  • The people who mistreated me showed me exactly how to be an exceptional friend – I deserve to be around people that appreciate that, and they need someone like me. 

You can decide to trade your involuntary beliefs for better ones.

You can decide to look for the good news. 

And you, most definitely, can decide to use your past experiences to make you better; not worse. 

So, what are you believing right now?

It’s not too hard. It’s not too late. You’re not too poor. You’re not too stuck. 

Believe better, do better, become better.

You got this,


P.S. – I’ll forever owe my understanding of this concept to the teachings of David Bayer. You won’t regret checking him out and studying his material. **He did not pay or ask me to share any of this**

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